mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
