I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize