I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Randomize
