I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
