Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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