and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize