that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
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