YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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