I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Do vagina's smell?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
