is your mom at the bar?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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