i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
