Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I think weed is turning my hair brown
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
