How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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