Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
