so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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