Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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