did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
It's just like the Real World with babies
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
