Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
