shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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