home. puking in laundry basket.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
