your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
