hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
