I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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