Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
