Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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