3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
