I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
