when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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