marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
And then the night went full on bisexual.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
