i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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