Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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