At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
ok first of all what the fuck
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
