It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
