a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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