Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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