Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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