you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize