i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
