dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
