That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
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