2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
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