i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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