She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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