I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize