just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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