My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
