when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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