i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
