It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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