Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
