one two three fourrrrnication!
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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