Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize