I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
