We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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