I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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