He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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