belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
