Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
