P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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