I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
