Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
