If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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