as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
