Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
