either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
